You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wish my penis had a tongue
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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