Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
