he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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