Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
