i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
