I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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