I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
