They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
