Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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