her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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