I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
