I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My breasts were aching with rage.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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