Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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