her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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