Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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