2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
