Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
