Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize