I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Damn victory sex feels great
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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