nut hugger
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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