U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
