I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
