The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
