Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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