i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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