i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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