Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I skipped work to stalk him.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
