physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize