do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
