Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize