you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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