I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
