Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
