You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
