Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
