i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
