She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
