I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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