Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
