How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
