If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
