yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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