I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
