Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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