Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize