at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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