He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So much rum. So many feels.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
