Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
