New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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