he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize