Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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