He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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