please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
