BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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