I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
