Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I cockslap morals
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
