Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
