I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
