She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
