im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you had me at cake vodka
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
