everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize