If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
