We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
