I skipped work to stalk him.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
