things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
