sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
