I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize