Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
