I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
