my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
