Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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