You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
