I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
