I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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