OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize