What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
