he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
