Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
