whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
